On God and Suffering

Dosteyevski said: “Suffering is the sole source of consciousness.” And suffering is, indeed, the single unifying factor in human experience. After all, we all suffer from something – and it is just this suffering that underpins the human experience. Pain is necessary for an awareness of “being” . . .
The only true vision of a universal “God” must move beyond the conception of “Good” and “Evil.” These are human constructs, and do nothing but provide humans a manner to blame some “other” for their problems. There is no good and evil in the universe; suffering, pain – these are absolutely necessary in the yearning towards consciousness, in God’s quest to become aware of Itself.
As difficult as it is, as much maturity it demands, we (humans) will never “understand” until we can move beyond the idea that God “knows” anything in the sense that we conceive of “knowing.” God created the universe, God created pain to know; so that It could know It. We are this yearning to know; we represent the painful growth towards God’s self-knowledge. Can God be slain? Can suffering do anything but lead to greater consciousness? Does our idea of “Good” as “pleasurable” have meaning to anyone other than a child, a spiritual infant?
I have no desire to suffer; but I also have absolutely no say in the matter. Pain comes in many forms and I have experienced some of them; there are many and much more powerful versions that I have never experienced and (God forbid!) I never will.
But what will be is what will be. Consciousness and Love (“agape,” that is) are born of the facts at hand, not wishes for different facts. Everything, absolutely everything must be viewed as the expression of an obligation; as if we have been leant something terribly important and must not only protect it, but increase it, quicken it. That “something” is our consciousness, our understanding – this is the understanding of God itself, unfolding. As the Sufis put it: “God sees through your eyes;” don’t you want God to have the clearest, most loving vision possible?

"Execution," charcoal on paper, 22" x 14", 2001

“Bad” – what is bad? That which disagrees with orthodoxy? That which George Bush calls evil? Actions that hurt another human being? Pedophilia? Drug abuse? Sheathing women in burkas? And what is “good,” for that matter? “Helping” people feel less pain? Tithing? Creating art? Running for the state legislature?
We just don’t know. We yearn towards an understanding of just what is “good” and what “bad” – and we should do this. But we are completely in the dark; our quest towards a moral vision is not towards something that is existent, but into the morass of the unknown. We are told many different things by human wisdom traditions, and can imagine even more in the dark of the night, when we are released from the bonds of the sun. But what is the answer?
This scrabbling about – this is God in search of Itself. And this scrabbling about is occasioned by the very existence of what we think of as “Bad.” That which is “bad” is absolutely necessary to growth; hence, disgusting as it is, it might not be bad at all, but incontrovertible. Completely.
So, where does this leave us? Are we to throw up our hands and thank God for mass murder and Multiple Sclerosis? “Thank God for visiting this hell upon us. Amen.” I don’t think so! But we must accept that which is – this represents understanding; this is mystical realization. Accept, but not submit. Struggle to operate within the human realm to bring consciousness of morality and love into our existence, for if it expands in the human realm, it emerges into the universal realm, as well. Suffering will not be conquered, though current paradigms hold out such hope. If you haven’t noticed, we are hardly lessening suffering; we are only growing more impatient with it. And it might be just this impatience – this lack of acceptance – that makes the suffering all the more acute.
Odd, isn’t it?